Assigned dinner seating is the one rule that produces forever-friendships.

technique — attributed to Deborah Szekely

The one exception to Rancho la Puerta's few-rules policy is dinner. Guests have no choice where to sit. The rule is deliberate. Without it, guests cluster into cliques they arrived with. With it, they meet new people every meal. The result is what brings guests back year after year. Everybody goes home with one or two friends. Szekely tells prospective guests in her letters that they will make friends forever. The single piece of imposed structure in an otherwise unstructured environment is the structure that produces the relationships that justify the trip.

For retreat operators, cruise organizers, and any multi-day hospitality format whose value depends on guests meeting one another. The technique works because it is the single rule, not because the rules are extensive.

seating, no-cliques, forever-friendships, intentional-design