Genuine interest in the person across from you is the underlying engine.

principle — attributed to Esther Coopersmith

Coopersmith and Bill Clinton got along, her daughter believes, because both are interested in you as a person. She picks the right line at the customer service counter by reading the person behind the counter faster than anyone else can. She knows instinctively how to connect people. The skill is what would now be called emotional intelligence, but the substrate is older and simpler: an unfaked curiosity about whoever she is talking to. Every technique in her hosting playbook depends on it. The seating, the introductions, the rising-star spotting. None of it works if the host is not actually interested.

For hosts at every level. The principle is non-negotiable: techniques cannot substitute for the underlying disposition, and guests can tell when the interest is performed.

curiosity, emotional-intelligence, hosting, presence