When the banker starts saying we, the relationship has formed.
observation — attributed to Joanna Stone Herman
Stone Herman names the operational marker of when collaboration begins. At the start of the first meeting, the bankers ask what do you do here. By the end, they are saying we have this strategy that is going to attract this buyer, we can deliver this. The pronoun shift is the signal. The bankers have internalized the seller's company enough to speak from inside it. The seller welcomes them as an extended member of the core team. The technique generalizes for any advisor or consultant. Track your pronouns. If you are still saying you and they about the client by the end of the first deep meeting, the relationship has not formed yet, and the work that follows will run on weaker footing.
For consultants, advisors, and service-firm professionals tracking the development of client relationships. The observation is most useful as a self-diagnostic for engagements that feel transactional rather than collaborative.
pronoun-shift, we-language, rapport, extended-team